Part one- A Reflection

So it’s been a hot minute. I’ll avoid the overused idiom about eyes blinking and time flying, but last time I checked, summer was coming to an end, and now I’m wrapping presents and decorating trees in my living room.

The end of the year can easily be a time to count up your failings. To look back and see the hurdles that floored you, the tasks you have yet to accomplish, but there will be none of that here. Did I waste opportunities? Miss boats? Sit and watch as potential passed me by? Sure. But show me someone who didn’t. Worrying that yesterday was wasted just leads to wasting today.

So instead, we are going to take stock of where we are at. We’re going to make some lists; That always gets the productive gears turning. Let’s see what we accomplished at the tail end of 2022, what we have learnt from those things, and the direction this next year is going to take us.

Completing a Content Marketing course at UBC was one of my biggest professional goals of the last few months. It was helpful practically; it gave me some practice writing, feedback on my skills, and tips on writing well. But where this course outperformed its content, was as a gateway into the world of online learning.

Online writing courses are everywhere. One could take 100 courses and never publish a word, productive procrastination at its finest. But this style of education is brilliant for those of us starting on this creative journey. Online courses give you the freedom to complete assignments on your own time and work around your current job. You can also learn various topics without committing too much time or money.

To that end, I plan to take this writing course in the new year, specifically focusing on structuring and outlining a novel. Hopefully, I will take the mess of ideas and backgrounds and characters I have and turn them into a workable, writable, readable story.

Defining one’s career goals is a thing that takes time and honesty. I am just starting, in my early 30’s, to understand what it is I want from life, and more specifically, from my career. It’s an interesting thing to learn, especially at an age where you think you know yourself pretty well. One can get lost trying to plan too far ahead, thinking of where you want to be in 5 years, or even ten. Ten years is far too scary a prospect for me, but thinking of next year is doable, especially as December draws to a close. A geographical move is in my future, as my partner continues his own career change, and the wanderlust I thought I had grown out of, whispers in my mind that I’ve been in one place too long. Creative freedom is at the heart of this freelance journey, but switching to a remote style of work brings with it its own benefits: namely being able to move whenever and wherever we want, untethering myself from a specific location or workplace.

Some goals remain unfulfilled. My writing portfolio is still rather lacking, despite that particular goal being on my list from August. I did produce some pieces during the UBC course, but they are an odd scattering of ideas and themes, and I have yet to condense them into something publishable. As a result, I am yet to apply for a ‘real writing job’ and hence make any actual money from writing. I keep putting up barriers in my own way, thinking of things I need to complete before I apply for that first job. Some of these things are needed, and some are just fanciful ways to procrastinate. My CV does need updating, and I can continue to edit and tweak my website till the cows come home, but applying for that first job is an important milestone that needs to be completed, no matter what the result.

This is not a failure. There was no “if you haven’t done it by now then you can’t do it” ultimatum on this journey. This is an acknowledgement of a step I have yet to take, and one that is fundamental to getting this process off the ground. This is a time to have an honest look at the last 6 months, what I have done with that time, and what had stopped me from ticking off everything on that first list.

Personal progress

On a personal note, this year was full of family and friends. I was able to spend more time with my family than I have in 8 years, reconnect with old friends, and have some heartwarming and inspiring conversations with the people I love in my life. I have been somewhat removed from the people I care about ever since moving to Canada. I see their children grow up through Facebook photos and quick skype chats, wish them happy birthday over the phone. And while this is a choice I made and continue to make, it can be hard sometimes, to be an outsider in the lives of the people I love the most.

Spending time with my best friend on her wedding day, meeting my new little niece for the first time, playing dinosaurs with my goddaughter, these are moments that touched my heart this year. Made me appreciate the family I have, the incredible people in my life, and the things that really matter. Seeing how my friends have grown, have built lives for themselves so full of love and passion, It’s reminded what’s important on this little gas ball, hurtling through space. We only get so much time, and once it’s up it’s up, so spend it doing something that makes you happy, with people that matter. Let the rest go.

This might not sound like a professional epiphany. But talking to my friends about their lives, their daily struggles, the choices they’ve made, what drives them- seeing the variety of ways they’ve changed whilst still being the people I grew up with, little balls of chaos and destruction now turned mother, midwife, executive, doctor. Thinking of where we started and seeing the adults we’ve become, it makes me proud to know such incredible people, proud of what we have all accomplished in our own unique ways. There is no right way to do this. No correct formula for a life well lived. It’s just a series of choices, some big, some small, some larger than you realize at the time, and as long as you keep making them, being an active protagonist in your own life, pushing the story forward, even the most chaotic collection of miscreants can create a place they belong and a life they’re proud of.

Part two- Looking Forward

SO what now? Where to go from here? These last few months have given me even more motivation to keep moving forward and take some bigger steps towards my ultimate goals. There have been some positive steps in the right direction, as well as some standing still, and a few unhelpful side projects. If I was forced to be critical, I would say the scales tip more on the side of procrastination than meaningful work, especially this last month, but there has been some measurable progress, no matter how small.

So, we are going to take this information, learn from it, make some decisions, and step forward- with a little more purpose than we had before.

Let’s try an exercise that I found inspiring earlier this year. The idea of writing out your goals: long-term, for the next year, and more specifically: for the next 3 months. Let’s see what’s changed, what’s stayed the same and what I want these next 3 months to look like.

Let’s take a look at my original “One Day Creative Goals”, and see if or how they’ve changed:

Working for WOTC stays on the top is the list, the big “if you could do anything” dream that stands alone, like the big bad boss fight at the end of a game, seemingly impossible when you start at level 1, with no weapon and no idea where to go.

Looking back, I am surprised that writing a novel wasn’t on the original list. Clearly, even a few months ago, I didn’t see it as something I could actually achieve. Well, not anymore. And to note, it’s not just “A” novel that I want to write- it’s “MY” novel: THE novel that I have been writing, tinkering with, thinking about and dreaming of for the past 5+ years. I want to write other stories too; short stories, ghost stories, science fiction, children’s stories, but this novel is a specific story that I want to write, and I want to write properly.

I can’t remember the exact show, (could have been The Big Bang Theory), but I am reminded of a specific interaction, whenever I think about writing, and the myriad of people who talk about the stories they never wrote, and how wonderful the novel is, that they never finished:

Character 1: “I can’t believe this person that I really like, is going on a date with that person instead of me!”
Character 2: “Well, did you ask them out?”
Character 1: “No”
Character 2: “Well that’s why then. You never asked”

I’ve been lucky enough in my life, to travel the world and work some pretty interesting jobs. People have often said to me “Oh, I always wanted to do that, or go there, or experience that” and when I ask why they haven’t, they struggle to find the answer. It’s one of the reasons I hate the ‘Bucket List’ mentality. If you have always wanted to do something, then DO IT. If you have always wanted to go somewhere, then go. You’ll never see the world if you don’t book that first flight. You’ll never go on that date if you don’t ask. And that story that you want to write will never get published, if you never actually write it.

Some people write well, some write badly, and some people never write at all. Bad writing can get better, good writing can become great, but no writing will remain nothing. You are never going to get a publishing deal for something you always wanted to write.

“I always wanted to write a book” “Did you write one?” “No” “Well that explains why you never wrote one then”.

I’ve been relatively proactive in my life when it comes to change. When the grass starts to look greener, I go see if it is. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t, but I’ve tried my best to stay away from the “I’ve always wanted to”, and instead, embody “Oh, I tried that once”. My writing is one area where, up to now, I have fallen flat in that regard.

Well, no more. Everyone starts somewhere, and this is where I begin. Level 1, no weapon or shield, but a hand-drawn map, and a vague idea of the direction to start walking. I might not be Tolkien, or Rothfuss, or George R.R. Martin, but I can be one step further than everyone that “always wanted to write a book”, by actually writing one. It may not be great, it may not even be good, but it will exist! and then, we can take it from there.

The new Plan

Big goals are helpful. They allow us to dream, to think about our ambitions without the barriers of reality, experience, or hard work holding us back. It’s the age-old question: What do you want to be when you grow up?

But to get there, we need a simpler ladder to climb. A stepping stone to take us from where we are now, to the lofty heights of where we want to be. That is where the far more attainable, measurable and practical 3-month plan comes in:

Measurable success

One thing that makes goal setting productive, is defining how you are going to measure your success. The goal of “becoming a freelance writer” is all well and good, but if we don’t know how to measure that success, it’s hard to know what we are aiming for, and harder still to know how to get there.

So for January 2023, the first goal is simple:

1: Apply for ONE writing job

This may sound small. It is intentionally so. I have had this particular goal written on my to-do list for the past 3 months, but still, it evades me. So this month, this is specifically the first step, to be achieved before all others. Number 1 on the list!

Once we complete this, we can move on to the next steps, which will hopefully make an application more likely to turn into an actual job offer, but to start, just apply for one job. How hard can that be? Right?

Bring On 2023

So, as the last few days of 2022 play out, I am feeling both accomplished and inefficient, but also motivated, to not only see what the next few months have in store but to make those months have something exciting waiting for me.

The title of this post is taken from a song that has become my personal soundtrack these last few weeks. It’s somehow both motivating and introspective, and I highly recommend a listen while you ponder the end of this year and your plans for the next.

Remember, change is good. Change with purpose is better. and whilst knowing where you’re going is great, taking a step in any direction can be the start of an adventure.

” You are never gonna get everything you want in this world.
First things first, you get what you deserve”

by Neon Trees